Still struggling...

As I sit here and type I can feel my stomach sloshing and gurgling and dancing around. I ate so much last night. I slept 10 hours and I still ate so much last night. Well, of course the past doesn't change, but the time was not profuse enough for the effects of last night to dwindle. Not enough digesting occurred and my fat ass grew even more. I drank a lot of wine too. It was delicious. Either way, why? Why did I do such a thing? I mean, why does my brain not click when it comes to the end of a meal. To the end of eating too much. I mean, I pour one bowl of rice crispy treats drowning in milk and heavily sprinkled with brown sugar... it's delectable, Cacy brought that delight into my life. Either way, why couldn't I just stop at one bowl? Just one? Maybe even two? Hell, I'd prob feel a little better if I'd even stopped at three. BUt naw... I had four bowls. Had to have four bowls. And even pondered having a 5th, however, somehow, I clicked. lol. After forcefeeding myself four bowls of cereal... I just sat and thought of it, and held my belly even for a second thinking... gosh, it would be nice if I was pregnant so I had an excuse for this protruding blob that I'm looking at, actively being disqusted by. I hate to end a sentance in a preposition, but sometimes, I'm just too lazy to go back and change the sentance around so that it isn't such a way, or my flow doesn't go with the proper grammer. Alright, well, as I sit here, I ponder attending the gym. It will probably make me feel a little better about my binging these last whiles. Plus I will feel better afterwards anyways. Hmm... WHy am I even thinking about it? Shouldn't it just come natural to me? To all humans? To take care of our bodies? I mean, it's the only one we ever get personally... I mean, maybe our energy goes on and is absorbed by another life.... but we only live this time, in this body, in this life experience. We should naturally be able to take care of it! But, thats just too easy, isn't it. Ok, well, I'm off to, work out? Yes! WOrk out! Yay:)? lol. No, really, yay.