The Relapsed Junkie

I did it again. I relapsed, and it wasn't pretty, but I'll paint a picture, feel free to skip past the next few words if you have a weak stomach. I started the day on a skewed vision of a nutritious diet. Skewed by, what I can only imagine are, my erradic emotions. However, I started my day off with a heaping bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and it all went downhill from there. A gigantic bowl of light, crispy cinnominny sugar dazzled squares drenched in some icecold milk. Mmm... Soon after breakfast was inhaled, I felt the need to bake. I'm not habitually a baker, but eh, why not? I've always wanted to cook. Well, be somewhat of a skilled food manufacturer. I mean, it seems like such a valid skill to soak into my bank of acquired skills. I popped open a bag of brownie mix, and got a stirring. Threw in half a bag of semisweet morsels, and created, well err umm, put together some truly delectable brownies. I was so eager to shove them down my throat, that I didn't even have the willpower to wait for them to cool down after taking them out of the oven so I just scooped out globs of brownie onto my plate, and paired those globs with more globs of some creamy Mocha Almond Fudge, which was quite a magical pairing I might ad. After that, after becoming "one" with the brownie maf(short for Mocha Almond Fudge) work of art, while my body actively grew in circumference and fat content, I watched some episodes of Califronication. Good, actually great show. Gotta love David Duchovny for being an actual sex addict, and then playing one on TV. I'd just really like to know how that all played out in his mind throughout the process. Did he know what the show was about before he agreed to act in it? Did he just fall on a script that emulated his life, but maybe he had no self awareness and the show brought him to his understanding of his own life? I don't know, but I wonder. Anywho, I ended that day down my old hangout.... Fast food lane. Wow. Is this really me? Have I really regressed so far, as to actually start my old rounds again? Burgerville: Got a Mocha Perk milkshake. Wow, was it absolutely delicious. So thick and creamy, a perfect blend of mocha, icecream, and devourability. Ordered some fries there as well. Very hot, but not quite that degree of amazingness that fries should be, sort of grainy and mooshy. I continued a little more of my day..... ate more... more to write.... but keep in mind that before this day, I've been doing so well with it all, even jogging miles at a time. Yes, miles, regard the "s" on the back of that word, for it is a sacred one, for it is what signifies my entry into "badassness". I did a 2.25 mile jog, and the whole time I jogged, as in, not even an ounce of walking. Doing such a thing opened a door that, before I, myself, the overweight beginning jogger, only thought "the chosen ones" could open. The ones chosen to be fit from birth. But I definitely wasn't fit from birth. Hell, I'm still not fit. At a whopping 244.7 lbs, today, I am definitely not fit. But this is the beginning. This, as in right now, as I type, including the last 35 minutes my co-worker Elena and I have been talking about it, is the beginning. The beginning of a new me. We are each writing up a contract. A contract that will include the stipulations that I will live by for at least the next 3 months. We began writing on May 19th, and therefor, the contracts are up August 19th. Who's to say if I will continue on with the lifestyle, but time and experience. So here goes, the journey of bringing out my inner "badassness".