Saturday, December 31, 2011
This last day of this year.
Wow... It's the last day in the year 2011. Is that proper English? I dunno. Either way, I feel horrible to say, that I've done nothing with my life. I like to live life and ride along the waves of it's ocean of activity, however, I feel like I've been chillin' on a surfboard watching perfectly great waves go by and now the wind is calm, not a breeze in sight. I want to take advantage of every moment, for life is so short it's mind boggling. Literally, why is it that of all the time we've spent here, on earth, it only takes a second to take us back there. To where? I reminisce and my mind wanders for a moment to take me to the salty air that wafts from the oceans of Huntington Beach where I've spent many a days, to the kitchen at my moms house where I've aimlessly, mindlessly, stared into the same fridge full of condiments a thousand times hoping for it to somehow magically zap a meal in there as though I was Jeannie and could cross my arms and jerk my head down and pull from the universe. But seriously, where has life gone? I'm here, I have 24 years behind me, and I still feel lost in the abyss that is life. Where do I find direction? How do I find my North Star? Will I know it when I see it? Or am I there now?
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I just typed an enormously long comment and then lost it. Probably a good thing. Okay, in a nutshell:
ReplyDelete--I'm so glad you're blogging again. I haven't checked your site for a while, and I just read from February to now.
--As usual, you made me think about many things, but first, kale chips!
--I burned my first batch to ash, too. Now I bake them at 250 for longer...maybe 15 minutes. My veg-adverse friend LOVES them and ate nearly an entire bunch of kale.
---More importantly--the new year got to me, too. I don't know why, but just hours before midnight last night, I started feeling really discouarged about the old year, the new year, etc. But, maybe we simply need different yardsticks to measure our lives by. I like your one-day-at-a-time approach to life. Today's New York Times has an article by Pico Iyer (Sunday Style first page) and he writes about how true joy is simple and not based on what you are doing or what you've achieved. It's something simpler. Maybe a list of adventures and accomplishments to detail for 2011 isn't really all that important.
Looking forward to more posts!
Awe, lame with the comment deletion... been there. But I like your view that it was probably a good thing. Interesting. But thanks so much. Seriously. And I haven't attempted kale chips again since. Traumatic.... but I do believe I'll go at it soon, sounds worth it. I read the article.... Whoa. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteHey! I just landed on your blog, and I'm really glad I did. I've been searching, "food addiction" "food addicts" food addict blogs and what not. I've been trying to find anyone out there who has the same relationship to food as I do. I've found people with many disorders, but you have been the closest to myself. Sorry, I don't mean to sound creepy haha. I just read all of your posts and I'm not sure you'll see this, as it looks like you've stopped blogging. Nevertheless, I completely understand where you stand regarding food. It sucks, a lot. And that's an understatement. I'm not sure if you get depressed over it as much as me but sometimes it gets pretty dark. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that I've been battling a serious, deeply ingrained food addiction for my entire life. Its completely taken over every aspect of my life, my family, friends, education, money etc. The only hopes I have left not for recovery, because I know I'll have it forever, but for at least a better life, is I think, trying to get myself to stick to a whole foods diet, or a raw food diet. But like you have experienced time and time again, that is the thing with us, sticking to something for more than a week or two, is quite foreign. Anyways, you're not alone. :)
ReplyDelete